“I don’t want an old Mommy!” My 7 year old cried out to me one day when I was ill. I always did think he was an over-anxious child but when he said this.. well my jaw dropped and then I continued to get an assault on my ego and confidence as he told me that he was scared because I was old and he was worried I would die because I was an old mommy and that out of all his classmates only he and 2 others had old mommy’s and they didn’t like having old mommy’s either. I just didn’t know what to say, how could I have acted, or what was I saying that led him to believe I might die soon? I also thought I was a pretty great mom, not an OLD MOMMY.
So this got me to thinking about me as a mother in my 20’s when I had my daughters, then in my 30’s when I had the boys and what I found was … I guess I really do appear old to them with the way I act, simply because I am exhausted chasing after them. So I guess to them I really am old and no fun. So what could I do to change their mind about me? I certainly can’t roll back time and be younger so what could I do?
I don’t ever remember giving much thought to being tired, or grumpy when I had my first two children in my early 20’s. I was full of life, no worry, I was super fun just ask my girls. I had a massive amount of energy to share, go and do with my daughters and that was after working a full shift 5 days a week. I was living it up and learning with them.
I don’t remember (nor do they) me nagging, complaining, tired or worried. I really enjoyed spending time with them and they were very content just doing what ever. I divorced their father when they were very young, so it was just the 3 of us for a pretty long while. We kind of grew up together and had a great time doing it. We hiked, biked, swimming, museums, parks, you name it I was always ready to take them on a new adventure. I wasn’t spastic, overbearing, over-cautious I just kind of let them be and trained, taught them, took care of them and had fun with them.
Then in my 30’s I had Daniel and Logan. By this time I had been a mother for almost 10 years, I was starting to slow down already as were my daughters. I was toying with the idea of being a nurse and I was starting to settle into my life alittle. Then I met the boy’s father in my late 20’s and then in my early 30’s he asked to have kids, which is rational we had been together several years, he didn’t have any children so I promised I would think about it. I hadn’t sworn off having anymore kids but I wasn’t flirting with the idea either so I really did have to think about it.
So around 3 months after we talked about it, I started thinking I guess I would really like to have a couple more kids and I would be done with college in a few short months after the first would be born so I said yes. So we began trying. It was difficult I miscarried twice before I finally got pregnant with our son Daniel. Early in the pregnancy my hormone levels were off and I had to take progesterone, this proved to be a very difficult pregnancy, I had to take a leave from college to continue the pregnancy. My water broke early and he was born premature. I definitely wasn’t expecting that. So it would be a long time and a lot of courage later before I would revisit having more children. But I did. I had Logan 5 years later. So now 4 children and I was nearing 40… oh boy.
This leads to today’s topic… Old mommy. I am usually the oldest at my 8 year olds functions in his class, the oldest on the playground, I get grumpy easy, I am exhausted all the time, I am overly cautious I think when we are young we think we are never going to die and we are not as overprotective of the children we have early in life. I am more attentive to their needs, I baby them more, I spoil them more, But now I can’t stand noisy toys, television, I won’t let them have skateboards, I am .. yes a smother mother. My daughters are always rubbing it in the boys face that I was way more fun when they were kids. It just tears them down, then I just feel bad for them because I know it is the truth. But I just cant help myself, I am an old Fuddy duddy. I guess I am the “old Mommy”