The Relationship Unicorn: Open Marriages and Relationships


aaaWhen Matt and I moved to Louisville we got invited to a get together at a friend’s house. We were having a good time. As the night wore on things got a little strange…. to say the least. It turns out these people are all in “open marriages” and Swapping rings…

This group is much larger than one might expect. There is a whole community of people who club together, swap and shop together, they have camping trips, day outings, night clubs, all whole other world.

Now in our minds eye if we were too try to imagine this you would likely as I did be drawing mental pictures of a huge orgy, but that is just not the case at all. They have a large support system in their little circle. The wife’s comfort each other, shop together, have drinks together, have dinner with each other, the men go hunting, camping, it is incredible. This is not the only group like this there are people all over the place the same way.

open marriage They are the most unlikely happiest people I have ever encountered. This totally works for them. But lets take a look at what the experts say on how health this is. (The number of adults with open relationships — be they formal marriages or more informal arrangements — is small. Probably about 4% to 9% of U.S. adults have some sort of open arrangement, estimates Franklin Veaux, 41, an Atlanta-based computer programmer and web site developer who also runs a polyamory web site.)

 I can certainly understand the vast interest in this topic. The divorce rate remains high and a large percentage of marriages do end over infidelity. And even those who are happily wed grapple with the concept of lifelong monogamy. Monogamy in itself is also a hot topic as of late. Journalists and bloggers regularly speculate on whether or not it is human nature to mate for life. And the scientific community is putting more research into the study of pair bonds while speculating if humans are designed to be sexually monogamous.

 There are safe practices and for most of the couples they are seemingly very happy and healthy people. I admire that they are confident enough in their self and their relationships to be able to participate in this taboo life style. But for Matt and I, I think we will drudge along in our monogamous relationship till death do us part. 

References and Resources:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rachel-a-sussman-lcsw/do-open-marriages-work_b_1222016.html

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/the-truth-about-open-marriage