I Married A Ninja


Sexy Ninja Couple

Married life with children finding alone time or time for intimacy is sometimes a challenge that requires skills that you may have to learn.

My husband “bless his heart” (as we say in the South)  and I live double lives as secret ninja’s. Now I don’t mean that literally. Simply put we had to  acquire certain “sneak skills” in order to find time to be intimate or find time to be alone. These skills are required and we begin learning them simply out of a need to survive.. First skill you will learn is the

“Don’t wake the sleeping baby ninja move”

1 we inch off the bed one centimeter at a time, making sure the sheets doesn’t make noise.

I Need a shower and bathroom break ninja move…

2) we then learn to glide and slink across the floor much like a feline stalking her prey.. instead of walking.

I am so frickin hungry  haven’t eaten in 16 hours kinda ninja move..

3) We become masters at opening and shutting cabinet/bathroom/and fridge  doors that make as much noise as an old Charlie Chapman film.

4) I need chocolate or sweets ninja move.

We learn to take wrappers off or open stuff, eat it dispose of it, and no one ever knew it was in the house…

 

5) We need to make love before we start sleep climaxing…ninja move.Sexy Ninja Couple 2

By far the most complicated of all…  it seems as though it doesn’t matter how big your house is, or how many rooms apart you and  children are from each , they always wake up right at the most in opportune times…  I mean these kids.. they literally have a “sexdar”! So you may  find yourself getting so desperate that  you would literally at times have to use all these ninja moves in order to have a 30 sec love making session  crawl on your knees gliding like a feline… you eventually find the only place they can’t hear or sense your lovemaking could be the bathroom floor, and when your 30 seconds of ecstasy is over you both are on the floor in a fit of laughter thinking of how crazy this has become!!

 

But you don’t care, You love this person and  you would take on the biggest secret mission of all because you love each other and these kids that much….