Today’s topic… Self Pity.
Self pity…. So today I was so proud of me, yes me.. I Did all the shopping and fetched the need and want list for the family while saving us a few dollars. So anxious me I started handing out the items to everyone. That is when it happened, the grunts, hum’s, eyebrow furring, and fake smiles ensued. Meanwhile I sat with tears welling up in my eyes.. I say to myself you are an adult don’t be childish.. but the truth was my feelings was hurt.
No I did not go out and work a public job today, but I journeyed around the whole city today gathering all items on my list.. the list they gave me, some of which I might add was non returnable and non refundable. I thought I was about to have a hissy fit. I didn’t get the right kind of leggin’s, I didn’t get that thing he wanted, That tool by the way.. yep wrong kind, that shirt, I like it but you forgot this…
I have had it I thought.. So I stormed out and to the bathroom I wasn’t about to let them see me cry. I stood in front of the mirror and I am scolding myself. I am congested, dark circles where I have been sick this week, I gained the two pounds back that I lost, my hair could use a washing, my nails look dreadful, and …. and.. Then through the tears I started to laugh, I thought how silly I was being with all this self pity because I had just driven past a homeless squatting while I had to take a detour through downtown due to construction.
I had just driven past the homeless shelter as I watched mothers sitting with their children in that play area, I saw someone digging for food in a garbage can, I saw people waiting on the bus in the rain.
So I stood in that bathroom so ashamed of myself for all my self pity and being ungrateful. I looked around me and my home smells like pumpkin spice, my stomach is full and my children are playing their video games sitting in a nice place surrounded by love with full tummy’s . Then I realized I was the only guest at my pity party.